Plop, Plop

I am dipping my toe into the blogging world today and I want to give credit to my friend April for this.  I am not even sure I’ll tell her about my blog yet.  I will see how I feel when I finish playing around with this thing.  I feel indulgent, and guilty—pleasuring my ID sensibilities (as Russ my Abnormal Psych professor would say, and approve of I might add), in sitting here writing and taking the time to set this up.  I have three children, and a house to take care of and I should be doing other more important things than sitting in front of this highly addictive machine and feeling so self-absorbed.  April is a Quaker pastor and has a blog on this site at hillelfriends.org. We met through college courses we both were taking.  She has since graduated…I am still working on my seemingly endless pursuit to career happiness. 

I am 38, a mother of 3 (ages 13, 11, and 3), and have gone back to school to finally finish college and start a career.  I have been a stay at home mom and want to get OUT THERE I suppose.  I have had some setbacks in my life with a crippling first marriage that has given me bouts of depression, anxiety, panic attacks, and self esteem issues, as well as set me back financially.  I never finished college so I have been hindered professionally and that has also given me self esteem problems.   I have remarried, and I love my husband, CW.  He is a professional truck driver and is on the road for weeks at a time.  I have gone back to school full time to finish my degrees so we are a busy, busy household.  I am overworked, and underpaid.  We are on a budget to say the least.  I am finishing my English degree (3 more classes to go!) and I have added a second major, Psychology that I will finish next Fall when I will graduate.  The big dilemma is what to do when I graduate because I really have 2 ideas and need some help. 

First, I have always wanted to go to law school.  I could apply and if I got in to a local law school go that route.  There are several law schools close enough that I could apply to and commute to reasonably.  IF I did well enough on the LSATs and got in!  The second option is that I could go to graduate school for Psychology and get my Masters, could practice clinical psych and see patients (with supervision) and make some money, teach at the community college level, and then work on my Phd in Psych with the goal being having a clinical practice, doing research, or teaching at the college level toward a tenured position….

The problem I have is making a decision, and I do realize I have some time.  But I have had problems with decision-making in the past, and I really want to set a goal and GO for it.  I LOVE psych, get super-excited about anything to do with it.  And yet,  I am concerned about the money-making possibilities of being a psychologist/teacher and spending 7-10 years getting my Phd.  I could be an attorney in 3-4 years and start making a great salary, and have 3 kids to put through college.  And, with a truck driving husband’s salary, that is an important consideration…..

I try to picture myself at a desk in a suit, listening to a client, then at the clerk’s office, filing court documents, in court, etc….Then I picture myself teaching a college course of psych, or sitting in my office listening to a client talk and doing therapy, or visiting a half-way house to visit clients…I don’t know they  both sound appealing and non-appealing depending on which day you ask me.

I want to help people ultimately.  I am conscience of my responsibility to God and mankind to serve.  I didn’t used to make that a big priority in my life.  But I want that service to be a part of my career.  I am at a place in my life where I can consciously make that a choice.  I have been reading Max Lucado’s book Cure for the Common Life:  Living in Your Sweet Spot.  It talks about making intentional choices, Godly choices, to serve and make your life about service to others and God.  Why can’t I make money AND help serve at the same time?  Can it be done?  I am not greedy, I just need to pay debts, live a nice life for my family and be happy, fulfilled.  I know there is a some sort of psych major called Pastoral Care–I think it concentrates on counseling within the church arena.  I am not sure, but I will get some help when classes start back in the Fall. 

Enough for now.  Any suggestions from anyone, I am here, open and receptive.   

Fizz, Fizz,

Jen